For the past few Fridays, Charlie (The older George Clooney lookalike from the range) and myself (Jason, the younger dapper gent) have been teeing off at different courses around town. The matches are usually pretty close but Charlie, who plays quite regularly, has been struggling to find some touch lately against my mate and I who very rarely play.

I thought I would now take this opportunity to lay up some excuses he can use next time he’s out on the course, if he hasn’t used them already.

Feel free to take some of these on board and use them against your mates or add some more you've used in the comment section.

Of course you could avoid the need for ever needing them by practicing down at the Rockingham Golf Driving Range!

I just can't generate the power like when I was young. 

I just can't keep my mind off her, it's so frustrating. Where is the beer girl anyway?

I had too big of a breakfast. I can't get the club around my gut.

I have really bad jock itch so my stance is all screwed up.

I don't care how I score when I'm young. My only goal is to live long enough to shoot lower than my age

I can't play on this course. I haven't been able to practice it on Tiger Woods 2009.

I am allergic to the pesticide spray. My eyes are watering and I can't see the ball.

I am committed to my wife. Golf has always come second (hehe)

I bent my 9 iron while killing a pig for the roast for my birthday party so I had to use my wedge

After that last shot, I'm just too embarrassed to try and hit the ball.

Before the sex change, I was allowed to hit from the red tee. It’s just too difficult to score now

Ever since I made a hole-in-one, I can't concentrate.

I need new clubs, mine might be made for girls.

I'm just sh!t

Happy golfing! :)